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Post by stallion on Oct 4, 2004 10:03:21 GMT -5
That's fucking great. I love 'Send flowers to Darth Vader', 'Did you go to high school with Darth Vader?' and 'Do a background check on Darth Vader'. It just goes to show that yes, there are people more pathetic than those assclowns who waited for months outside a movie theater to be the first ones to see the new Star Wars movies. I really have never understood the levels of obsession people go to with things like this. I would ask the question 'Why are some people such tools', but I think we have our answer-see Teat, Jimmy & friends.
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Post by LotB on Oct 7, 2004 2:42:47 GMT -5
Yeah Stallion, the associated advertisements were one of my favorite parts as well. Not only am I tempted to send flowers to Darth Vader, I might just pay $19.95 to have Shauna Sands or Cindy Margolis call him up to wish him a Happy Valentine's Day. I'd be willing to bet it would be the first such call this pathetic bastard has ever received on Valentine's Day. www.hollywoodiscalling.com |
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Post by stallion on Oct 7, 2004 9:26:22 GMT -5
Shit, have them call me. Nothing like some big-breasted bimbo calling you up on Valentine's Day....of course, have them call me at work...I don't think my girlfriend would understand...on second thought, just have them call Snake. "Hi, this is Cindy Margolis. Is Snake there?"
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Post by LotB on Oct 7, 2004 18:59:45 GMT -5
To anyone that's not you, it would actually be pretty funny to have Cindy Margolis call you at home only to have your girlfriend answer. That's a universal truth for everbody, I suppose. As for Snake, I think it would be damn funny to have Saved By The Bell's Mr. Belding call him at work on Valentine's Day. I bet the rumors would fly around the watercooler after that. On second thought, perhaps Mr. Bartlett would be a better target for that than Snake.
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Post by Üncle Snake on Oct 8, 2004 14:37:21 GMT -5
Comedian Doug Benson writes a column called "I Love Movies!" for the Bob (Odenkirk) and David (Cross) website (http://www.bobanddavid.com). It is always good for a few laughs, and the latest is particularly good ...
Thursday, October 07, 2004
I LOVE STAR WARS!
by Doug Benson
George Lucas recently gave an interview to ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY to promote the release of the “directors cut” versions of the first three STAR WARS movies that just came out on DVD. What follows are actual real (true!) quotes from George, along with what I would say if he said that shit to me…<br>
DOUG BENSON: Why the fuck did you have to go and add a bunch of useless crap to the original trilogy?
GEORGE LUCAS: When STAR WARS came out, I said it didn’t turn out the way I wanted—it’s 25 percent of what I wanted it to be.
DOUG BENSON: 75 percent of the movie wasn’t there? Funny, it seemed pretty complete to me.
GL: So the choice came down to, do I please myself and [finally] make the movie I wanted, or do I allow the audience to see the half-finished version that they fell in love with?
DB: Half-finished? That’s only 50 percent.
GL: If you really look at it, there’s hardly any changes at all.
DB: First you say 75 percent, then 50 percent, then hardly any changes…are you retarded?
GL: The thing that really caused the trouble on STAR WARS is the whole question of whether Han Solo or Greedo shoots first.
DB: Yeah, Han Solo understandably shoots Greedo because Greedo is holding him at gunpoint.
GL: He didn’t shoot first.
DB: But he did. I saw it. At least 50 times.
GL: In my mind [Greedo] shot first or at the same time.
DB: Sounds like you really don’t know what your mind thinks.
GL: We like to think of [Han Solo] as a murderer because that’s hip...
DB: Yeah, murderers are awesome!!
GL: I mean, I don’t see how you can redeem somebody who kills people in cold blood.
DB: Greedo, the green ant-eater faced monster, is a person now? You’re so crazy, I wanna have your baby.
GL: Every other change is, you know, I wanted to have a good matte painting in here.
DB: So you’re saying STAR WARS is 75 percent matte paintings? I thought it was mostly characters and plot and shit. But then again, I’m not a filmmaking genius, I’m just an asshole comedian.
GL: Half of directing is great casting.
DB: You should really stop throwing around percentages.
GL: It really is. If you cast it right, you don’t have to do much work.
DB: That kid you hired to play young Anakin in PHANTOM MENACE was terrific.
GL: I said, well [PHANTOM MENACE] is not going to work because I’m making it about a ten-year-old boy, and nobody is going to want to see this.
DB: I certainly wish I didn’t.
GL: And then [ATTACK OF THE CLONES] is a love story.
DB: No wonder I didn’t like it. Love is stupid.
GL: It’s not a hip, happening romantic comedy with the Olsen twins.
DB: Um, I know you’ve been busy making horrible movies, but there’s no such thing as a hip, happening romantic comedy with the Olsen twins.
GL: So at least Darth Vader is in [EPISODE III]. Only for two minutes, but he’s in it. If you take them all together it’s a fascinating saga.
DB: Oh, I get it, if I see EPISODE III next May it will magically make EPISODES I and II not suck. I’m gonna go get in line right now!
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Post by Üncle Snake on Nov 5, 2004 6:29:20 GMT -5
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Post by LotB on Nov 6, 2004 7:47:03 GMT -5
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Post by Ponyone on Nov 6, 2004 10:06:15 GMT -5
That "Rise...Lord Vader..." part is phat as hell!!!
 : Cradle Of Filth - "English Fire"
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Post by LotB on Nov 7, 2004 5:23:49 GMT -5
I think it's going to be cool seeing "Darth Anakin" slowly making his transition.
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Post by Ponyone on Nov 26, 2004 9:07:29 GMT -5
Planning Your Episode III Bookshelf
November 24, 2004
With each Star Wars prequel release in the theaters, there is a flurry of fan activity in the preceding month. Final preparations are made for premiere parties, whether informal get-togethers, or huge Celebration III-style affairs. Collectors start clearing space for the new Episode III goodies set to hit stores; for Episode III, April 2 is the big date for collectors to circle on their calendars, for that's when product begins premiering in stores.
For fans of Star Wars literature, that on-shelf date means it's time to add to your bookshelves with new publications exploring Revenge of the Sith. Those fans not afraid of spoilers can dive into the books right away, while those waiting for the movie experience must stave off temptation for a few more weeks, and keep the books shut on their shelves.
Here's a look at the Episode III tie-in books scheduled for release on April 2, 2005, as well as other titles also available that month (publication dates are tentative for some titles; keep checking starwars.com for more developments).
Ballantine Books / Del Rey
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
The novelization of the final Star Wars film adapts the story of Anakin's fall to the dark side. Novelist Matthew Stover met with George Lucas to discuss the storyline of the film. As a result, the novel includes all new sequences that won't be found in movie theaters. But more importantly, Stover gets inside the heads of the characters, and depicts these dramatic events from their points of view. This book will be released in hardcover with simultaneous audio release on CD and cassette.
The Art of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
This hardcover release collects some of the most stunning pieces of concept and development art created for the film. The artists of Episode III are spotlighted here, alongside their costume, character, and technology designs, storyboards and production paintings, planetary vistas, ILM models and digi-matte paintings, and much more. Text by J.W. Rinzler.
The Making of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Author J.W. Rinzler tracks the entire production of the film, from the earliest Art Department explorations to the evolution of the script, from the start of principal photography in Sydney, Australia, to the additional photography in England as well as the visual effects wizardry of Industrial Light & Magic. Witness the changing face of cinema as detailed from a Lucasfilm insider who has followed Episode III from its earliest days.
Dark Horse Comics
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
Dark Horse presents the epic visuals and dramatic story of Episode III in comic book format, with illustrations by Doug Wheatley and a script by Miles Lane. The comic version will be available as four single issues in April, and as a trade paperback graphic novel that same month. The covers are by Dave Dorman.
Star Wars: Visionaries
Dark Horse Comics and the concept artists behind Episode III are teaming to produce a Star Wars graphic novel like no other. This collection of 12 exciting tales are told by the artists that helped envision the worlds, creatures, technologies and characters of Revenge of the Sith. These new stories -- some within continuity, some most definitely not -- will showcase new designs from the artists most responsible for the dazzling imagery in Episode III.
Star Wars: General Grievous
Learn more about the evil leader of the Separatist military forces in this four-part comic series by Chuck Dixon and Rick Leonardi. The first issue comes out in March, with the remainder of the series available in monthly installments. Also, the Episode III lead-in series, Star Wars: Obsession, wraps up before the release of Revenge of the Sith. Read about that series here.
Dorling Kindersley (DK Books)
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Incredible Cross-Sections
DK continues their tradition of peeling back the hulls and bulkheads of the most awesome vehicles and vessels in the Star Wars galaxy with amazingly detailed illustrations and authoritative descriptive text. Peer inside the new Jedi starfighter, the Republic's Juggernaut turbo-tank, General Grievous' flagship and much more, with illustrations by Hans Jennsen and Richard Chasemore, and text by Curtis Saxton.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Visual Dictionary
Covering more worlds and action than any other Star Wars film, Episode III promises to be a wealth of visuals to explore. The Visual Dictionary continues DK's popular series of photo-packed books that explain the many tiny details of Star Wars characters, technology, artifacts and locales. Written by James Luceno, and featuring special sculpts by John Goodson and Robert Barnes.
DK Readers: Star Wars: Galactic Crisis! and Star Wars: Star Pilot
Amazing photographs combine with lively illustrations and engaging age-appropriate stories in the DK Reader series, a multilevel reading program guaranteed to capture children's interest while developing their reading skills and general knowledge. Two installments of the series chronicle the exciting stories of the Clone Wars, from the first battles to the dramatic events of Episode III. Star Wars: Galactic Crisis! by Ryder Windham is for level 4 proficient readers, while Star Wars: Star Pilot by Laura Buller is for level 3 "reading alone" readers.
Random House Children's Books
Random House has a number of story and activity books in the works for younger fans. Here are some of the first that will debut in April:
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Movie Storybook
The story of Episode III is told with full color photos throughout in a 48-page paperback written by Alice Alfonsi.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Movie Scrapbook
This paperback is a wealth of trivia on all things Episode III. Full color photos and illustrations fill this 48-page scrapbook, written by Ryder Windham
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Trivia Quest
Do you know the secrets of the dark side? Do you know who Tion Medon is? Test your knowledge with this trivia quizbook. Written by Benjamin Harper.
Star Wars: Episode III Step Into Reading: Obi-Wan's Foe
Designed to help younger Star Wars fans learn to read, this book focuses on Obi-Wan Kenobi's adventures in the movie, and is filled with exciting illustrations by Tommy Lee Edwards. Written by Jane Mason and Sarah Stevens.
Star Wars: Episode III Sticker Book
This oversized sticker book comes with reusable stickers and full-color backdrops to let kids recreate scenes from the movies, or create scenes of their own.
Scholastic, Inc.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Junior Novelization
Author Patricia Wrede adapts the Episode III storyline for young readers in this digest-sized paperback edition.
Star Wars: Last of the Jedi Book 1
Fan-favorite Jude Watson launches another Star Wars series that picks up where Episode III leaves off.
IDG Entertainment
Star Wars Insider Episode III Souvenir Edition
In addition to their regular installments of the most Episode III-intensive issues of Star Wars Insider, IDG Entertainment will produce a special souvenir magazine completely dedicated to Revenge of the Sith. Stay tuned for more details.
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Post by The Duke on Nov 30, 2004 17:40:47 GMT -5
Great post about the books! I am a big fan of Star Wars novels, and look forward to some of the new stuff coming out. Anyone here read anything new from the Star Wars realm lately? I recently read "I, Jedi" by Michael Stackpole, and thought it was great. Not sure why the Star Wars genre is so appealing to me, but I have been a fan for quite some time.
: Jimmy Buffett--Christmas Island
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Post by Ponyone on Dec 7, 2004 18:24:11 GMT -5
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Post by The Duke on Dec 7, 2004 18:54:35 GMT -5
Great link to the Star Wars spoofs Pone! I especially like C-3po's YOda hand puppet...funny shit!
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Post by LotB on Dec 7, 2004 19:58:34 GMT -5
Boba Fett rules....
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Post by The Duke on Dec 10, 2004 18:32:58 GMT -5
I like the Dagobah cartoon myself. Yoda is just a great character. I just only wish there was a Lando Calrissian Colt 45 cartoon.
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Post by The Duke on Dec 13, 2004 18:13:36 GMT -5
I came across a messageboard comment the other day on StarWars.com in which the write thought that Palpatine and the Emperor were NOT one and the same. I found that utterly preposterous...what do y'all think?
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Post by LotB on Dec 15, 2004 1:47:55 GMT -5
That is quite preposterous. Palpatine/the Emperor/Lord Darth Sidious have never not been the same man. This statement only makes sense if they mean it in the same vein that Anakin Skywalker and Lord Darth Vader are not the same man, as seen from the perspective of Obi-Wan's ghost.
Even then, there's no evidence that Palpatine was ever a good man, so one couldn't really say that the man who was Palpatine ceased to exist when Darh Sidious came to be.
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Post by LotB on Dec 15, 2004 1:51:08 GMT -5
In other news, it has been announced that the second trailer for Episode III will be released in January. The third and final trailer is to come in March.
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Post by LotB on Dec 15, 2004 2:43:24 GMT -5
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Post by LotB on Dec 28, 2004 5:05:50 GMT -5
Check out the trailer for the Episode III video game here: www.lucasarts.com/ep3/There's plenty of cool-looking stuff there that's sure to also be a sort of preview of the movie, as the storylines are supposed to track. |
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Post by The Duke on Jan 24, 2005 20:35:03 GMT -5
Who do you all think is the single most important character of the Star Wars saga? Some of my fellow teachers and I discussed the tpoic, and I feel that the Emperor/Palpatine is the ost important because his influence turned Anakin to the dark side.
Or, perhaps I thought too much on the subject.
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Post by Ponyone on Jan 25, 2005 23:51:10 GMT -5
I believe it would be Yoda....well because he's Yoda and The Greatest Jedi Master - without him, the Jedi may or may not have existed - What do you think?
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Post by The Duke on Jan 26, 2005 16:26:24 GMT -5
I agree that because of Yoda, the entire Jedi order held together longer than it would have without him. I also tend to say that if not for Obi-Wan, Luke would never have been trained, and there fore Anakin would never have been redeemed.
Or perhaps Lando Calrissian and Jar-Jar Binks are more important...just kidding.
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Post by muthagoose on Jan 27, 2005 8:43:11 GMT -5
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Post by muthagoose on Jan 27, 2005 9:01:49 GMT -5
StarWars.Com has released the full length opening yellow-texted crawling introduction for "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith", which opens May 19th. Here's what we'll see on the screens:
Episode III
REVENGE OF THE SITH
War! The Republic is crumbling
under attacks by the ruthless
Sith Lord, Count Dooku.
There are heroes on both sides.
Evil is everywhere.
In a stunning move, the
fiendish droid leader, General
Grievous, has swept into the
Republic capital and kidnapped
Chancellor Palpatine, leader of
the Galactic Senate.
As the Separatist Droid Army
attempts to flee the besieged
capital with their valuable
hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a
desperate mission to rescue the
captive Chancellor....
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