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Post by stallion on Mar 23, 2005 9:11:23 GMT -5
All incoming freshmen at the ...oh my God... I can't fight it.... I love the cock... ummmmm tasty! School are required to take Dancing At Buddy's Late Night 101. The curriculum includes the Tucker Roney "Ali" dance, the Mav Himself "Two Fisted Beer Hand Shuffle" and the ...oh my God... I can't fight it.... I love the cock... ummmmm tasty! "Bump N' Grind".
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Post by stallion on Mar 23, 2005 11:02:53 GMT -5
Actually, this qualifies as a celebrity sighting, not a legend of the ETL, but it is noteworthy-
Spotted: LaVar Arrington @ Applebee's, 3/22/05. Yep, Mr. Redskin Himself was chillin' at the bar with his wife, sporting a sweet Lawrence Taylor throwback. I didn't speak to him, but a few other people did, they said he was a really nice dude. Hell of a nice BMW, too.
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Post by muthagoose on Mar 23, 2005 11:34:30 GMT -5
That's pretty cool! Did he get the Pizza Shooters or Extreme Fajitas!??!!!
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Post by stallion on Mar 23, 2005 12:00:27 GMT -5
I think he got some of those "Hoss-some Potato (Red)Skins". And a couple of martinis.
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Post by mavhimself on Mar 26, 2005 10:48:22 GMT -5
I know it may be against my own rules to say this guy again but he's such a fucking Legend we could almost call him an Icon.
Jason "Festus/Poot/Petty Seaman" ...oh my God... I can't fight it.... I love the cock... ummmmm tasty! @ Da Affalete, 3/25/05
mav himself.
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Post by stallion on Mar 28, 2005 8:22:28 GMT -5
If ...oh my God... I can't fight it.... I love the cock... ummmmm tasty! was a sports figure, he certainly would be on the Wall of Integrity.
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Post by The Duke on Mar 28, 2005 10:35:05 GMT -5
Either the wall of integrity, or the wall or underage, dusty-ass panties.
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Post by stallion on Mar 28, 2005 10:47:43 GMT -5
I think we can safely say that ...oh my God... I can't fight it.... I love the cock... ummmmm tasty! has achieved a pinnacle reserved for true greats such as Jimmy Teat, Skeeter Dietz, the Pullen Boys (the ETL version of the Dudley Boys) and others. FOR THOSE ABOUT TO POOT-WE SALUTE YOU!!!!!!
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Post by mavhimself on Mar 29, 2005 22:17:35 GMT -5
Here's one for Rakky and Big Cat:
Donald Warner aka Skippy aka Crip Master Zero @ Da Affalete 3/29/05. Donald is a former crony of mine who quickly became a former crony of mine after he decided to form a suburban version of the Crips street gang right here in the ETL. This assured him a place, not only in EHS folklore but as a permanent fixture in the food service industry.
mav himself.
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Post by stallion on Mar 29, 2005 23:28:25 GMT -5
OK-here's a legend so big, so epic, so classic.....take a deep breath.....ok.......it's everyone's favorite used-chewing-gum-chewer.......
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Post by stallion on Mar 29, 2005 23:30:03 GMT -5
................a legend so big she needed two spaces.......
LEAH MASTANDREA!!!!!!!!!
Sighted at Applebee's in Annapolis, 3/29/05. At first I wasn't sure if it was her, but damn if that lip dragging on the ground didn't give it away. I did not see Geist giving her used gum that was stuck to the bottom of a chair to chew.
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Post by mavhimself on Apr 1, 2005 9:52:43 GMT -5
Jesus H. Christ!!!!! Leah? who had the pleasure of washing the drool off the floor?
mav himself.
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Post by stallion on Apr 1, 2005 9:59:50 GMT -5
I don't know but she left a trail of drool wetter than the Trail of Tears. I damn near fell carrying a stack of plates in that shit.
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Post by mavhimself on Apr 1, 2005 10:04:06 GMT -5
did she have her normal younger brother with her? the mastrandrea's are kind of like the warren/mary (from there's something about mary) only with the gender's reversed and if warren and mary were poor white trash. i wonder if leah has a phobia about her ears?
mav himself.
p.s.- pat, if you spot lucky rich, it is your duty to report this as fast as possible.
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Post by stallion on Apr 1, 2005 10:55:59 GMT -5
But isn't the father some sort of doctor? Is it possible for a doctor to be poor white trash? I think Lucky Rich died. I'll never forget the caption written in Matt Slay's yearbook-a photo of Lucky that said, "The rest of my face is on a bumper."
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Post by LotB on Apr 4, 2005 2:48:41 GMT -5
Wow man, I just caught up on about three pages of this column, and I don't know where to even begin to comment...
I saw names mentioned like Kevin Fike, Danny & Chris Patrick, Tripline, Dent, Camacho, Ferry, and Murphy.
I saw good ol' Tamu mentioned. I had a gym class with him when I was in 9th grade. He used to take sadistic pleasure in beaning Lee Hunderdtmark every time we played dodgeball, while a cast of characters I couldn't begin to name all of looked on. I haven't thought of Tamu since approximately 1993. It's amazing what memories come rushing back at the mention of a name. I wonder if I would even still recognize him...
As for Warner, can I assume that he still lives in the ETL? Are his arms truly covered in tattoos, Tommy Lee-style, as they are rumored to be? What information were you able to glean, Mav?
Last but certainly not least, MonkeyBoy. I was one of the only people that was ever nice to this fucker when he first showed up during our elementary school years. How did he pay me back? Well, come the end of our 9th grade year, Donald asked if he could have my yearbook in order to sign it. I figured, 'hell, why not?' and passed it over. I reacquired my yearbook at the end of that class, and discovered in the next class that the motherfucker had written comments throughout the book in the manner of a punk-ass vandal. He even wrote "Feed Me" across the face of our pal, Keith, thus ruining the photo for all time. I get pissed off all over again every time I look through that yearbook. Needless to say, I wasn't too sympathetic years later when I heard that another friend had crushed most of the bones in this kid's face after having been maced in a fight that lasted under a minute. Most of you probably are familiar with that one. In fact, it happened right in Golton, in the street between Maki Manor and the Goat residence.
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Post by mavhimself on Apr 4, 2005 9:37:45 GMT -5
the only scoops i have on donald warner are that he does have a few tats, but not tommy lee style, has a look like he hasn't bathed in a while and he has made the rounds in the food service industry having worked at burger king and more recently at rusticana. i know because i have spotted him at both of these places over the last 2 years.
mav himself.
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Post by stallion on Apr 4, 2005 11:04:47 GMT -5
I'm willing to bet that Mav will have at least one ETL legend sighting in L.A. I can't imagine who it will be, but I imagine when least expected someone like Geist will be spotted strolling down Rodeo Drive while Mav is rolling around town in his lowrider. Perhaps Donald White will be at the Los Vatos Lowrider Challenge that Mav will be sponsoring in East L.A. or Raul Diallo will appear at Mav Himself's Compton Homecoming/Backyard BBQ & Old English Bash (WELCOME HOME DOUGHBOY). No matter where you travel on this earth, an ETL legend will never be far behind.....
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Post by stallion on Apr 6, 2005 10:06:50 GMT -5
The Ultimate Legend: Brandon "Pash", "Ma$e" Mason, 4/5/05 @applebee's, Annapolis. The Man Known as Pash stopped by to imbibe some LITs, mozzarella sticks and fried shrimp. The Passion passed on the Pizza Shooters and Extreme Fajitas. A quality tip was left for the excellent service provided by yours truly. Just to refresh-in the last three weeks or so, I have seen Mason, Leah Mastandrea and LaVar Arrington in Applebee's. Who's next? Jimmy Teat? Sean Taylor? Dare I say Joe Gibbs or Joe Bugel? Perhaps even the ultimate sighting, Jason ...oh my God... I can't fight it.... I love the cock... ummmmm tasty!? He seems to be everywhere these days.
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Post by LotB on Apr 7, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
I don't know how I could have forgotten this one, especially given that we were already talking of her brother, but I sighted Kelly (Kelli?) Warner sometime in September (I think) of 2004 walking down Aurora Street at the intersection of Goldsborough Street opposite from Col. Tilghman's house. She was headed in the direction of the Catholic Church, which I doubt was her destination. I pointed out to my dad, who was riding shotgun, that she was Donald Warner's sister. Dad sure never did like "Skipper," although not as much as he despised Russell Billman.
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Post by mavhimself on Apr 7, 2005 7:50:10 GMT -5
she's not dead from AIDS yet? she's fucked half of talbot county. if she doesn't have an std she's gotta have about 5 kids.
mav himself.
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Post by mavhimself on Apr 7, 2005 17:13:48 GMT -5
Dan Warfield @ Da Affalete parking lot 4/7/05. Many of you don't know this guy (only LOTB and Big Cat) but he set the standard for white dudes acting black. He was out on this day reenacting the short film "Heavy Metal Parking Lot", sitting in a car talking to a couple of shady dudes. I wondered if he was installing a bomb on my car because I wouldn't give him a discount but then I remembered that Dan couldn't figure out how to assemble a cardboard box. He was not accompanied by his buddy whom we dubbed Tattoo Guy. Tattoo Guy became notorious around Da Affalete for annoying the crap out of us for about a week straight. He once tried to barter me with a discounted tattoo in exchange for a discount on shoes.
mav himself.
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Post by CaticusRex on Apr 7, 2005 22:49:17 GMT -5
I`ve seen that assclown as well... in Walmart some time back. He appeared to be doing the whole "lean back" thing that Fat Joe made popular
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Post by stallion on Apr 8, 2005 7:36:54 GMT -5
I don't know if I should be happy I don't know these people or not.....sounds like a lot of laughs, but it also kind of sounds like masturbating with a cheese grater....slightly amusing, but mostly painful.
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Post by LotB on Apr 16, 2005 4:27:01 GMT -5
I'd be happy not to know them, even if they are good for an occasional laugh.
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